BEREAVEMENT
Dealing with a Bereavement: Supporting others
Losing a loved one can be an overwhelming experience, even if the death was expected. It's not uncommon to feel like you're living in a nightmare from which you can't wake up. Grief is a natural part of life and with the right help, you can move forward.
Supporting someone through bereavement
Send a letter or a card
Many bereaved people say that reading the letters and cards many times throughout the grieving process offers great comfort.
Be there
You can't fix this and there's nothing you can say that will bring the person's loved one back. Humans like to solve problems but in the case of death, it's enough just to ask the person how they are and if see if they want to talk. If they aren't ready to talk let them know that you're here for them, when they're ready.
Make time
If they start a conversation, make time for them. This isn't something that can or should be rushed. Let them lead the conversation and validate what they say to you, even if you can't relate to their experience.
Be patient
The bereaved person may tell you the same story about their loved one's death many times. This is very helpful for them and allows them to process their feelings in a safe, non-judgemental space.
Be aware of your language
Follow the lead of the person who is experiencing grief and allow them to use the language that they feel is appropriate. If they choose to say 'he passed on', or 'she's in a better place', that's appropriate, But if they're using stark ways of describing their loss such as 'he's dead', 'she was killed', don't try to soften their language.
Reach out anyway
Don't worry if you didn't know the deceased person or aren't close to the grieving - reach out anyway. Sometimes, the people we think we can count on the most aren't there when we need them, and instead, someone we only have loose connections with steps in. The quality of support doesn't rely on how well you know the grieving person.
Don't compare
It's natural to want to share our own experience in the hope that the bereaved will take heart that we've come to the stage of acceptance. However, this can take away from their own experiences and may make them feel as if their pain doesn't count. Every death is different but each one is significant.
Offer practical help
as well as emotional support. Offer to mow their lawn, weed their garden, get their shopping, babysit their children, pick up prescriptions and generally do what they might not have the time or energy to do themselves.
Set up a rota
to help the bereaved person.
If you're part of a friendship group you could create a rota to help support the breaved person. WhatsApp or email group allows you all to stay in touch and highlight anything that needs doing. Remember that someone who is grieving may not have the energy to reach out and ask for help so make it as easy on them as possible.
Be honest with what you can do
Witnessing someone else's pain - especially if we're struggling ourselves - can be difficult. If you don't feel like you're in the right headspace to support the bereaved person at that particular moment, arrange to speak another time when you feel like you'll be able to give more of yourself without compromising your own wellbeing.
Get permission to post on Socials
Seeing a photo of a loved one, or reading about them, without expecting to may cause the bereaved unnecessary pain. Always check that whatever you post is acceptable to the family.
Talk about the deceased
Don't avoid talking about the deceased person. They might not be here physically, but they are alive in their loved one's memory, and always will be. Make an effort to contact the bereaved on important anniversaries, such as the deceased person's birthday, or anniversary of their death just to acknowledge that you're there and thinking of them.
Children coping with bereavement
Sadly children and young people also experience bereavement. Grief Encounter provide support specifically designed for children, young people and young adults.
Grief Encounter is an open-access charity, funded by the generosity of supporters, and exists to help alleviate the pain and confusion caused by the death of a parent or sibling. Bereavement is devastating at any age, but for a child it is life-changing.
Practical help
Tell Us Once can be completed Online
Click here for more information on the Tell Us Once Service
TELL US ONCE
When a death occurs there is a lot of paperwork. Many organisations will need to be notified of the death of your loved one which can be difficult and time consuming.
Tell Us Once is a service that lets you report a death to most government organisations in one go.
How to use Tell Us Once
A registrar will explain the Tell Us Once service when you register the death. They will either:
complete the Tell Us Once service with you
give you a unique reference number so you can use the service yourself online or by phone
The registrar will give you a number to call. This includes Relay UK if you cannot hear or speak on the phone. If you’re a British Sign Language (BSL) user, there’s a video relay service if you’re on a computer - find out how to use the service on mobile or tablet.
Please see our guide from the Retail Trust that offers all NEXT employees and family living at the same residential address free and confidential support!
FREE bereavement support through Digicare+ Workplace
BEREAVEMENT SESSIONS AVAILABLE
FREE Sessions with a qualified therapist, advice and personal treatment plans are available when you download the Digicare + AVIVA Workplace App.
Click here to find out more
Supporting yourself through bereavement
As well as supporting others it's important to think about your own Wellbeing during times of grief and bereavement. Thinking of yourself can sometimes feel selfish but if you take care of yourself, you will be better able to support others.
Content provided by Retail TRUST
See below some quick links for further support
Preparation is key to help deal with the ups and downs as well as the end of life
Not having a Will means the law decides how your estate is handled.
Last year £8 million of money and property went to the UK government
Retail Trust have partnered with Bequeathed to provide this additional benefit
Click here to check out how to access Retail Trust's Will Writing service
Once signed up simply key Will writing in the search field for further information.
You will be required to register with Bequeathed and answer some questions online.
Sign up to RETAIL TRUST to access their FREE Will Writing Service available to you as a NEXT employee